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Something's Moving, Something's Changing



My pastor called a 21 day fast at the beginning of this year. The fast started on the 11th of January and ended on the 31st. This wasn't just some regular corporate fast. In fact, she called it a spiritual detox fast. As soon as she called the fast, I knew I needed it. I was SO SCARED though!


21 Days?!

I've been into my weight loss journey since November. I'm still overcoming in that area...now I'd have to do 21 days? Wow.


But, I knew I needed it so I decided to put as much into it as I could. I started off with a strategy...I would fast every day until 6pm, and then I'd do a meal that fit into the Daniel Fast. That lasted for a while, but it ended because I'm not that creative when it comes to creating meals. I can cook really well...but I don't really CREATE much lol. So, I added in some meat. A person can only go so long on some vegetable and barley soup.


Anyway, let's get to the awesome part!


I started off on this fast on a mission with specific objectives.


My mission: I WILL HEAR FROM THE LORD!

That's all I wanted. I wanted to seek Him and hear Him again. So much has happened over the last few years, and I stopped listening.


My Objectives:

-Rekindle the flame and my relationship with God. I'd been distant and that needed to change.

-Hearing from the Lord about direction for my family and for my own personal life. I needed clarity!

-Breaking all generational bloodline curses!

-Complete healing and restoration in my marriage

-Financial freedom for my family


Those are the objectives I started out with on this fast. I also started off knowing 21 days would be a push, but I could do it...I had to do it! I found scriptures supporting my objectives, and I had the Word of God, my pastor's book "A Way Out" (find it here). My pastor was also sending out a newsletter, and posting Facebook Live videos. So, I could make it through this 21 days!


I started off by journaling about the fast. I wrote what I was feeling, what I was thinking, what was happening throughout the day and more. This helped me stay in check in my thought life and even if they weren't the best thoughts, they didn't stay bottled up inside.

I knew the condition of my spirit was deteriorating despite my desire to love and serve the Lord.


So, I started gathering intelligence...Lord, show me what's in ME. I started praying and seeking. I asked and He answered.


I realized my prayer life stopped for quite some time. I just did the little surface prayers if I did pray. I didn't spend a lot of time worshipping. I don't mean listening to Christian music. I did that all the time. I mean actually getting into the presence of God and WORSHIPPING. I wasn't really reading the Word of God like I used to. See, when I was in Bible college I had developed habits that kept me close to God. When I graduated and LIFE hit again...I just started going through the motions. Not to mention the things I was dealing with that hadn't been healed yet. Jesus said it was finished on the cross, but I wasn't walking in that truth completely.


From the beginning the devil started attacking my marriage. I had a feeling that's where he was going to hit, but I caught it and decided I would not be distracted. My husband was fasting with me, and at one point he even quit the fast! I had to leave him in God's hands. He ended up joining the fast again a couple of days later. So first I'll say, this fast really taught me how to communicate better with my husband and stop joining every battle the enemy invites me to.


While God was showing me myself He revealed a lot of areas I was needing healing in and different spirits that were in operation in my life. I had to learn the difference between symptoms and roots. I had to realize my foundation had so many cracks in it! It just makes me think of how many Christians are walking around still in bondage to things they simply choose to ignore. I realized ignoring my spiritual state wasn't going to fix it.


Now here's the thing, I wasn't living in habitual sin. Most people who saw me and know me wouldn't have thought I was even going through this stuff. I had to write out the list as God was revealing things to me.


The symptoms and roots (in no order):

Fear

Rejection

Sexual Issues (stemming from past trauma)

Poverty and lack mentality

Anxiety

Laziness

Pride

Insecurity

Anger

Depression

Control

Doubt

Double-Mindedness


Spirits identified:

Vagabond Spirit

Belial

Jezebel


The root causes of all of these things:

Sexual trauma and generational sexual perversion in the bloodline

Feelings of abandonment from father, feelings of rejection from both mother and father

Unforgiveness

Lack of Identity


God revealed to me through Haggai 1:6-11 that His temple was lying in ruins. I was so busy trying to figure out how to do this or that and praying and believing...and God said "You have to take care of the temple first."


So, after that stuff was revealed I got to work. I learned about different types of prayers so I started off by praying prayers of repentance and prayers of mercy. I needed to be cleansed! I started dealing with the cleansing of my foundation, applying the blood of Jesus to my foundations. I had to renounce all of the idolatry that was taking place in my life. I had to tear down altars that had been built to various things. I had to learn about truly abiding in Christ. I thought I had been in Christ this whole time, and the truth was...I was a Christian in a pit. I was a believer walking through the valley of the shadow of death. It was time to take my place IN CHRIST by abiding in Him...in the secret place.


I had to address the roots in my life and even in my bloodline of witchcraft, Satanism, idolatry, lesbianism, molestation, incest (through molestation), rebellion, intentional disobedience, unforgiveness from being talked about negatively for most of my life. Of all the root causes I realized the STRONG MAN was rejection. It was so deeply rooted in my life!


I continued to seek God asking Him to cleanse EVERYTHING from me. People think Christians don't deal with this stuff...but until we recognize the TRUTH about our spiritual state we won't ever truly be free. Did Jesus set us free? YES! My spirit had been made new, but my SOUL needed to be cleansed. The state of my thoughts, my will, and my emotions had a severe effect on my spirit. Which is why I had to sincerely ask God for a new heart and a right spirit...and He did it!


I had to deal with the lies that had been planted in my life. And let me just say this...I THOUGHT ALL OF THIS STUFF WAS DEALT WITH! Then I started wondering WHY I was going through the same cycles and patterns. God wants us REALLY free, not just surface free. Yeah, you're going to Heaven, but what's going on with you NOW? I had become spiritually apathetic which is why the fire I once had died out.


NO MORE!


I'm praising God right now for everything He has done during this fast. I believe there is more to come and God told me to go for 40 days, so that's what I'm doing. I'm like Jacob right now..I'm not letting go until you bless me! And that doesn't mean just financially...I'm talking about the deeper things of God! I believe He's got a lot more to show me...so I thank Him now for knowledge, wisdom, and understanding. I praise Him in advance for much more revelation!


Just during this last 21 days:


My 8 year old who was being tormented at night in his dreams and in his thoughts gave his life to Christ.


My dad and I had the coolest conversation about the Word of God! We're already closer than we've ever been, but this put us in a whole different and much closer place. It blessed my heart completely!


My mom started coming to church with our family.


The next week my brother was in church with us too!


We have had a few financial blessings too!


Our family has been reading the Bible every night, and we pray together. I've been worshipping more, and I'm on the worship team at church now!


And as I said before...I've been SET FREE!


I praise God and give Him glory for it all!


I'm cleansed and healed...so now it's time to put in work! I'm taking back everything the enemy stole from me! Including time! I'm going to walk in God's purpose for my life, and I won't stop until I have helped as many women as possible do the same!


I'll be back at 40 days!



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